Negative Reprogramming to Positive Reprogramming

Now I am not talking about a cult or some such thing, I am talking about a calm teens brain being forcibly reprogramed to have a shit fit when things don't do their way.
NO, I am NOT doing this to my child. It was done to ME!
This is how I recall it starting ...
The big zoo in Seattle, WA. 1980 something. We went there because at the time they had orcas, you know killer whales. I really wanted to get close up to one. Well, just so happened, in the time before the moblie internet, they were cleaning the orcas that day and the exhibit was closed and they had not put up a notice at the gate, had they of the following story would have happened there and we MTL would not have even gone through the gate. Flash forward about an hour I think, and we are in front of the flamingos. Somehow, either the orcas were right next to the flamingos or I asked a keeper, we find out about the cleaning. Here is where the reprogramming begins, or one of the early episodes at any rate. My response, "oh man that sucks I really wanted to see them." Dads first response, "I am sorry." Crazy Grandmas response, " (some raging that I don't fully recall the words)", then sits down on the ground in front of the flamingos and refuses to move. Dads next response,  saying some stuff I cant recall as I was so stunned. I am getting upset now because I wanted to just do the rest of the zoo. I am crying and getting yelled at and I cant understand why Crazy Grandma (used to call it mom) is acting the way she is. Somehow it all became my fault. I have no idea how but it did.
How did someone else's actions become my fault?
How did my reaction of bummer but let's see the rest turn into me crying and being bad?
Eventually, a zoo person came and we rode back to the main gate in a golf cart because Crazy Grandma was refusing to walk back. I guess she thought we might just detour and do the rest of the zoo and she didn't want to because she was in the uber-bitch mode.
There were more episodes like this over the course of a period of time that reprogrammed my developing brain. They did not include more zoos but other things like holidays, birthdays, other types of trips, and more just regular day to day stuff.
At one point my brain thought I am not allowed to be calm I must be hyper angry if I do not get my way.
Sadly this stayed the norm until recently when I have begun reprogramming it to calm mode. Not easy when the person you live with likes having a reason to have the "LMN Reaction" and or threaten you with in-house psyche or the cops and also likes to poke until you end up crying. But I am getting there and it pisses off the person I live with, again, I have no idea why...